After a breakup is one of the hardest times in anyone’s life, but that shouldn’t be a free-pass to even more bad decisions that will make your life difficult. It’s likely you’re already filled with regret over your failed relationship so don’t rub salt in your wounds by making some common mistakes in an attempt to get over your ex, like: rebounding too quickly, lavish spending sprees, or making drastic changes to your lifestyle. While all of these may seem like harmless ways to expel your emotions or raise your self-esteem, what you’re really doing is a disservice to yourself. Healing from heartbreak takes time and a focused positive energy to get you back to where you deserve to be and none of the quick fixes above will get you there.

Whether you’re afraid of being alone or just interested in making your ex jealous, rebounding too quickly seems to be the go-to solution for people after a breakup. Not only is this unfair to whomever you’re getting involved with, this is unfair to yourself. What most people need after a breakup is some good quality alone time to figure out who they are and what they want to do with themselves. If your relationship has just ended there was a reason, and chances are at least part of that reason was you. So go and figure out what your shortcomings might be and how you can go about fixing them instead of falling back into the same cycle of defining yourself based on someone else. Jumping back into the dating game before you’re fully ready more often than not will lead to disaster and continued achy breakup. The more you can focus on you, rather than getting back into the dating scene, the better chance you have of being ready for the right person when they finally come along.

One of the oldest clichés in the book is the shopaholic woman with a closet jam-packed with more clothes and purses than you can shake a stick at, but it’s a cliché for a reason. Women like to shop. After a breakup is no different; in fact, times of stress can be a trigger for many women and before they know it they’re knee deep in fabulous shoes and credit card bills. Don’t make this mistake! While going on a wild spending spree and buying everything your ex-boyfriend said you couldn’t might make you feel better for a while, that won’t last for long. An adorable new outfit can’t fill that void in your heart and going into debt will only dig you into a deeper hole that you’ll eventually need to climb out of. If you feel like you absolutely need that new skirt that makes your ass look great, go for it, but avoid buying the blouse, earrings, and shoes to match.

While some people can leave a breakup feeling confident enough to simply keep on keeping on and may find it easy to pick back up their pre-relationship life, others really struggle with figuring out how to separate themselves from the relationship identity that they’ve now lost. When this happens people may decide that they need to make changes in their life, either major or minor, and while that can be a good thing, it can also be taken too far or in the wrong direction. Something small, like deciding to get bangs or joining a gym are healthy ways to switch up your routine and give your life that exciting edge of freshness. Other changes, like adopting a pet, quitting your job, or making a long distance move are changes that need much more consideration and could end up being an irresponsible or unhealthy decision in the long-term. Before making any major life changing decisions talk to someone who you trust and who really knows you as a person. Getting an outside perspective may save you a lot of renewed grief so you don’t have to deal with self-made problems on top of your breakup. At the time a breakup can seem like the end of the world, but if handled with grace and self-respect it can also give you a whole new lease on life. Rather than focusing on everything you’ve lost from the end of your relationship, try to see all the new possibilities you’ve gained. As a free agent the whole wide world is open to you and your next great love affair may be just around the corner! Use your newfound freedom to focus on yourself, have fun with your friends, and expand your horizons just as far as they can go! When you feel like you’ve finally healed and you’re back to being the kind of person you want to be, go check out Nouveau Dating.com for a plethora of dating and relationship advice!